🕯️ The Pause That Prepared Me
🕊️ Even delay can be mercy in disguise.
It’s strange how mercy can hide in delay. When the call came that my surgery was postponed — the surgeon unexpectedly ill — I could almost feel time itself take a deep breath. At first, I was confused, even disappointed. Everything had been lined up: the paperwork, job coordination, the readiness, the surrounding love of family and prayer — the quiet courage that had finally settled in my chest.
And then I remembered the three nights before. What felt like a frustrating delay may have actually been a protective grace in motion.
🕊️ 1. The Physical Truth of Right View Three consecutive nights of long, demanding shifts: Thursday → Friday: 12 hours Friday → Saturday: 18 hours Saturday → Sunday: 12 hours That’s forty-two hours of caregiving and physical labor within roughly seventy-two. Even with remarkable stamina and heart-centered presence, my body’s reserves were deeply taxed — adrenal system elevated, muscle repair incomplete, circadian rhythm inverted. Had the surgery gone ahead Monday morning, my system would have entered the operating room in a deficit — cortisol and fatigue masquerading as adrenaline. Recovery from anesthesia and tissue healing both depend heavily on rest and parasympathetic balance — exactly what I’m reclaiming now.
💫 2. The Energetic Truth of Right Effort When the surgeon fell ill, it wasn’t random chance; it was synchronicity serving balance. I was still in service mode — body in motion, spirit extended outward. The postponement became a sacred pause, a moment that turned the focus inward:
🌿 3. The Spiritual Insight of Right Concentration Grace often hides in inconvenience. Ram Dass would call this “grist for the mill.” Just as a millstone takes in coarse, hard kernels and refines them into nourishing flour, the experiences of our lives — joy, pain, fear, love, even delay — become grist for the mill of consciousness. They’re what the spiritual process grinds into understanding and awakening. This is one of those moments. The universe rearranged the schedule so that body, mind, and heart could arrive aligned — not depleted. Instead of viewing these two extra days as waiting, I’ll see them as pre-surgery recovery time. I’m already in the healing arc; the operation is simply one step within it.
🌸 4. Gentle Guidance for the Coming Days in Right Mindfulness
🕊️ 1. The Physical Truth of Right View Three consecutive nights of long, demanding shifts: Thursday → Friday: 12 hours Friday → Saturday: 18 hours Saturday → Sunday: 12 hours That’s forty-two hours of caregiving and physical labor within roughly seventy-two. Even with remarkable stamina and heart-centered presence, my body’s reserves were deeply taxed — adrenal system elevated, muscle repair incomplete, circadian rhythm inverted. Had the surgery gone ahead Monday morning, my system would have entered the operating room in a deficit — cortisol and fatigue masquerading as adrenaline. Recovery from anesthesia and tissue healing both depend heavily on rest and parasympathetic balance — exactly what I’m reclaiming now.
💫 2. The Energetic Truth of Right Effort When the surgeon fell ill, it wasn’t random chance; it was synchronicity serving balance. I was still in service mode — body in motion, spirit extended outward. The postponement became a sacred pause, a moment that turned the focus inward:
“The healers must first rest so healing may flow.”This interval allows both the surgeon to be at his best and my own nervous system to shift from doing to receiving — from caretaker to cared-for.
🌿 3. The Spiritual Insight of Right Concentration Grace often hides in inconvenience. Ram Dass would call this “grist for the mill.” Just as a millstone takes in coarse, hard kernels and refines them into nourishing flour, the experiences of our lives — joy, pain, fear, love, even delay — become grist for the mill of consciousness. They’re what the spiritual process grinds into understanding and awakening. This is one of those moments. The universe rearranged the schedule so that body, mind, and heart could arrive aligned — not depleted. Instead of viewing these two extra days as waiting, I’ll see them as pre-surgery recovery time. I’m already in the healing arc; the operation is simply one step within it.
🌸 4. Gentle Guidance for the Coming Days in Right Mindfulness
- Hydrate & nourish. Simple whole foods, electrolytes, herbal tea.
- Light movement. Slow walks, gentle stretching — keep circulation open.
- Quiet rituals. Read, breathe, sit at the puja table with mala beads, meditate, recite mantras.